Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

The economy is making everyone crazy.

Like, did you have a KFC coupon debacle where you live? KFC, trying to promote its new grilled chicken, announced on “Oprah” that people could download a coupon for a free meal. A great, innovative idea. But the response was so huge it overwhelmed KFC’s ability to honor the coupons. The web site crashed. And the stampede to redeem the coupons caused so many individual stores to run out of inventory that Yum Brands finally had to tell people to take their coupons into KFC and fill out a form so a rain check could be mailed to them.

Lessons, children? Well, first, Oprah has amazing reach and influence. Okay, nothing new there.

Second, people will always be maniacs for something-for-nothing, in bad times, good times, happy days, whenever!

Third, this economic crisis is forcing all retailers to find new ways of doing business. Props to KFC for inducing such mass behavior. Also for sending people to the Internet to redeem their coupons – how 21st century! – even though sometimes this century’s technology still fails us.

Restaurants are discovering the value of plate-sharing, happy hours and half-price Wednesdays. In my city, a lot of very fine restaurants have added the word “bistro” to their names. It suggests that while they’re still providing high quality (bistro = French = bon appetit), they’ve taken their prices down a notch.

Kohl’s has regained the public’s attention. The mid-tier value retailer with the cool TV ad campaign and the new exclusive fashion brands (Dana Buchman, Vera Wang, Hang Ten, Fila, Elle) reported recently that first quarter sales were essentially flat, which is a victory by today’s standards. Based on such not-bad news, Kohl’s told shareholders that it’s planning to open 56 stores this year and remodel 51.

And luxury retailers are hoping they can off-price just enough Manolo Blahnik shoes and Christian Louboutin bags to keep their inventory moving, without discounting, price-selling and couponing so much as to wipe out who they always were. I hope they make it. They’ve been our taste-makers and fashion-setters for generations and I honor their efforts to remain true.

They’re all doing what they can.