Big McMakeover

Earlier this decade, retail analysts and all the rest of us pondered the question, “Whatever the hell happened to McDonald’s?” One of the most innovative, iconic, successful brands in U.S. retailing history was struggling.

Why? Because its name became attached to the new ickiest thing in the American vocabulary: “trans fats.”

Sure, other fast-food proprietors offered the same weighty fare. But when you’re the industry’s landmark, you live by the fry and die by the fry. Besides, Burger King and Wendy’s had been faster in getting salads and grilled chicken sandwiches onto their menus. KFC very publicly substituted broiled for deep-fried. Subway made us believe their sandwich choices were actually slimming.

Then along came derivatives, toxic assets and credit default swaps. Our economy went south faster than a flock of geese. Suddenly, American consumers had to squeeze their pennies. And where better to feed a family of four than one of the 31,000 sets of golden arches?

It was a perfect storm of events: unemployment rose, 401ks collapsed and suddenly cheap was trumping quality. And one retailer was sitting there with a recognizable name, a supersized meal and more locations than Starbucks. What salad? The McDonald’s Dollar Menu represented the keys to the kingdom for the rebounding giant.

Which is why the headline this week especially confused me. “McDonald’s $5 billion makeover: The fast-food chain is trying to look less like a burger joint and more like a coffee house.” According to Crain’s Chicago Business, “in the next five years, McDonald’s plans to spend billions of dollars to remodel thousands of U.S. restaurants with new features such as plasma TVs, lounge chairs and electric fireplaces.” Crain’s says the company will also add free wi-fi and “stone facades” to stores, and make practical improvements like widening drive-ins to two lanes. All, said the article, to make it look less like a fast-food joint and more like a coffee house.

I’m all for retailers spending money to upgrade their facilities, especially these days – and especially those retailers who recognize how upgrading and redesigning the environment upgrades the brand. (Those who even correctly use the word “brand” impress me.) But that’s just it. Right now, the McDonald’s brand represents a safe haven for families on a budget. Yes, they now have fancy coffees and Angus burgers. But they also have giant-sized sodas at small-size prices and the same old, filling and affordable Egg McMuffins, Big Macs and double cheeseburgers.

So I’m not questioning the appeal of the makeover. I’m just wondering, why now?